Down here in Houston I have had a very large amount of my social interaction take place online. This actually works to a large extent. It isn't the same as sitting across from someone and seeing their expression and listening to the tones of their voice but it is adequate to feel like you are communicating with a person. It can elicit emotions, ad that's what social interaction is about.
The places I have been going to for several years to either pass the time or to get this social interaction have been internet forums. These are places (for those who don't know) where groups of people can sign on to talk about a particular subject, for me these have largely been sports teams, but I have spent quite some time in the fascinating world of religion forums (in which atheists are hugely over-represented.) You can have a conversation in something approximating real time, and after a bunch of these conversations you develop an understanding of other people's personalities within the forum. One of my good friends I actually met through one of these forums.
These conversations have a lot in common with your regular conversations, information is passed on, likes and dislikes are expressed, and arguments based on different opinions are common. There are some crucial differences and these are the problems with the internet. The first problem is that in a face-to-face conversation, when someone agrees with you they probably won't say much but will still provide a positive response, such as smiling or nodding their head. On a forum people don't go around replying with "I agree" anywhere near as much. Another problem is that there are no consequences for someone being a jackass, the anonymity and physical distance removes the social consequences, and so large amounts of jackassery ensues. Finally, you don't get to control who is in the group with whom you are talking as you do with your friends, it's as if you are in a coffee shop and anyone can just stroll up and argue with you.
What results are generally arguments, and what we know about arguments is that they often provoke strong emotions, and almost no-one is ever convinced. The other sneaky thing about arguments is that you never want the other guy to have the last word, it seems as if they have "won" when you are certain that you are right. On internet forums this can lead to an addiction, going back to check over and over again an intransigent argument t make sure you get in the last word. As someone who argues at the core of my being, this can be especially problematic.
So, if there has been something that has pissed me off more than anything else in the last couple of years it is probably internet forums. On the other hand they have done a lot for preventing loneliness.
With my magic blue pills I am far less vulnerable to mood problems, I am simply not going to get as lonely. However, I can still get pissed off. As a result I have made the decision to stop arguing on these forums, or actually simply not going to them. It is interesting how addictive they are, the pull and temptation to return is quite strong.
This is all part of a general movement of mine I am labeling as "receding." Perhaps it is the internet, media, political machines, but people all seem extremely opinionated, upset, dogmatic, argumentative, outraged and pessimistic. It is just to easy to get caught up in arguing, forgetting that what you really want are discussions with interesting, good-hearted people. While there is not one single shred of doubt about whether I have been a part of this I believe I am getting to the point where I am recognizing it for what it is.
I am receding from the news. I am receding from politics. I am receding from indignation and anger. I am receding from the need to convince others, to correct what I perceive to be their false opinions. I am consciously receding to a place that is comfortably numb, a place without pain. I am going to a place where I realize that sitting in a park with a book is worth a hundred internet arguments.
No comments:
Post a Comment