Sport.

Months and months of incessant whinging have gone by and no mention of sport. Sport has played a major part in my life. I cannot remember not being able to kick a ball well enough to play soccerball. I have played soccerball, the rugby football, the tennis, basketball, cricket, ice hockey, ping pong (probably the best one, honestly), golf (a good tantrum ruined by peaceful scenery in my experience), even softball. There is just something I have liked about a competitive effort that is directly physical, a visceral intensity of attention and effort that truly makes you feel alive.

However, what I have spent more time doing is watching sport. I have watched enough sport to have a favorite aussie rules football team, to hate all teams wearing orange (except the netherlands soccerball team and the Cleveland Browns), and to have an opinion on which is more boring between baseball and cricket (both are very boring, but cricket lasts for days). I spend several hours a day watching grown men desperately try to get inflated sheep bladders from one place to another within the confines of arbitrary rules. I am fully aware that this is rather an odd activity.

Why do people watch sport? For those that don't watch sport this is a real question, because it is a really strange activity, no matter how popular. I watch sport because it is the essence of myth, improvised before our eyes. In myth there is good and evil in direct conflict, winner take all. Myth explains who we are, what group we are a part of and which group we are against. In almost all cases myth climaxes with a battle, a struggle on the field of battle between the two forces. This battle is the point of the basic stories of our cultures. The shining heroes of our hope line-up to do their utmost against the dark, evil horde, their colours proudly displayed, pennants fluttering in the wind.

Sport is this exact scenario. A battle, a struggle beween us and them. Once you have picked a side (a vital component of watching sport for me, not caring about the outcome means you don't care about the activity) then the emotions run riot. It is family, clan, tribe under assault from the enemy. Then there is the emotion of becoming part of the mob, with your colours displayed, yelling, chanting, screaming. It is a basic part of humanity to feel part of something. It ennervates the entire psyche, grabbing all of your attention to hope for your side to be triumphant, to give you the release of pure joy.

I want to get across the point that sport is a replacement for bloody war and violence, rather than an encouragement towards it. I have thoroughly enjoyed smashing my body into another (enough that my shoulders will never be the same) within the framework of a set of rules. The opponent voluntarily agrees to take part in this smashing, also enjoys it, and will stop upon the sound of a whistle. You will not find a more immediate human connection than between those who have competed against each other to the point of pain, and who join together afterwards in a soothing beverage and to laugh about the smashing.

Like a great play can get you to feel love, anguish, joy, and sadness, a great sporting event can get you to feel all of the same feelings, but every game is different, you know that the storyline has not been fixed for the audience, and the entire event is improvised. That's why I enjoy watching sport so much.

If this doesn't stir something in you then I've just been spouting nonsense: http://http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=BCn-8MB-v5U