I hate affirmations. I hate the cheesy, Stepford wife desperation to be cheerful nature of them. I hate that the point is to trick you into feeling differently about things. But most of all what I hate about affirmations is that they might work. I don't know what it is about me but I hate being tricked into something, and how horrible that I would do it to myself?
In a similar vein I have always disliked those who say that you can choose to be happy. For one thing I think people who say things like that don't know what depression is actually like. But the main thing about it is that I think there's something to the concept of choosing to be happy, in that your happiness depends on how you approach things and how you look at life. It really does matter whether you consciously look for things to be happy about, or whether you are on the hunt for confirmation for your misery.
Yesterday I decided to stop doing things that were frustrating and annoying, tried to find things that I could feel good about, and then made sure to notice that I was feeling good about them. In this effort I then noticed a bunch of what might seem happy accidents that cheered me up too. From being up and about I ran across a number of people, just people in the post office and stores, who smiled and were helpful. I came across nice people who smiled at them, and I smiled back, and two people's days were a little better. After a couple of hours I was deliberately smiling because it made me feel better. By the end of the day I was in a very pleasant mood which remains today.
Smiling is an interesting thing. Most people think that you smile because you are happy, but it's more complicated than that. Smiling and feeling happy are inextricably linked, when we are happy we smile, and smiling makes us happy. It's like pulling on a string, you pull on one end and the far end has to move with it. It sounds ridiculous, but just try smiling for thirty seconds, if you don't feel better I'll be shocked. Frowning has the reverse effect, as does slumping your shoulders and letting your mouth be slack.
It annoys me to no end, but I think that it really does help a person who feels down to buck themselves up, look on the bright side and slap a smile on their face. But if you try telling me to do that when I'm grumpy I will bite your head off all the way to your knees.
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2 comments:
I agree with the benefits of smiling. Also, a smile does not necessarily indicate happiness. Smiles can be cruel, deceptive, or even sad.
But I'm with you on the idea that, generally, smiles make the world a better place for the smiler and the smilees.
Dude, (not on the carpet)
You can make anyplace home. We are still in our "dink" apartment and it IS home.
We are just a plane ticket away bro.
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