As I sit here on my couch, wired up to the greatest source of information humanity has ever known, I find myself returning to the same places on the internet and being less interested in them. I feel as though I am approaching the end of the intellectual interest that my personality can sustain. This is troubling because I haven't been someone who just does the things they like and doesn't wonder, question, or think. On the other hand, I am not someone who becomes obsessed with an area of knowledge and delves deeper and deeper into that area. If I was such a person I would be a successful professional at something.
I am a generalist, someone who is interested in many things at a medium level. I am interested enough in physics to have a basic idea of how the Universe is structured, interested in chemistry to have a basic knowledge of the building blocks of the Universe. I'm interested in history to see if there are common themes, to see if people have changed over time, to have some working knowledge on what effects the modern world. I'm interested in literature in that I like to read good books, I'm interested in art in that I like to look at beautiful things and to find out what is beautiful.
I am not interested in determining whether the logistics of the supply train for Assyrians limited the expansion of their empire, or whether the best guess for M-Theory is 13 or 26 dimensions, or what is the precise nature of covalent bonding in organic chemicals.
The problem arises when a certain amount of knowledge is attained that serves a functional purposes and that further knowledge requires unnecessary effort for diminishing returns. I have a physical worldview, a position on religion, a belief about human nature, a strong opinion on what makes sense as a political structure, I know what I like in art and literature, I have a decent understanding of cultures around the world (probably better than anyone who lived before the 18th century). I'm probably less than halfway through my life and I've answered pretty much all the questions I've had up until now.
I have also found that I am pretty good at predicting what I find interesting or pleasant. That is that it seems quite unlikely that should I just really try to examine Shakespeare in great depth that I will like it more than when I read Shakespeare now. It is unlikely that I will find great satisfaction from examining the bonding structure of the Yanamamo in greater detail.
I find myself really in a position where I am interested in having skills, but not in the process to get there. I wish to be able to speak spanish, to have written a novel, to be an accomplished musician, to be a PhD. in Philosophy, but not very interested in what it takes to get there. I am faced with the edge of what is natural for me to learn, and what comes next requires effort.
I think what I need is stimulation, intelligent people who say something new and interesting. Or a place that I have not been and know little about. Or some new field of interest of which I was unaware. Time to travel, explore, learn.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
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2 comments:
i'm still reading & i'm glad you're still writing. I don't often have anything of real value to warrant commenting (especially b/c I hate "verifying" "words" like *epesseba*)
keep it coming, whatever IT may be...
cheers & love,
~e.
Ennui will kill us all, Dan.
Seriously, I find that intellectual curiosity peaks and falls for me depending on other factors in my life.
Or, put another way... this too shall pass.
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