Amalgam.

The last few posts have been a discussion of last minute lethargy, fighting a cold and depression, a recurring fantasy plan for when I become disillusioned and hope for the next stage. My present mood is an amalgam of all these different issues, except the urge to purchase a gun and wild west it through the USA.

The cold is subsiding, but the last dregs are hanging on. The sad thing is that now my wife is sick so that I've gone from feeling crappy and mopey to spending my time with someone who feels crappy. It feels a bit as though the hits keep coming, none of them big enough to really give me an excuse to give up, just enough to keep knocking me down. The weather has been perfect for all of this, grey and wintry, we even had snow over the weekend.

The lessening of the grippe of the cold has meant (as I expected) a certain lightening of mood. This is excellent, a far more important aspect than fatigue and a sore throat. The death of the band that came about last week has resulted in me having no social interaction upon which I can depend (other than my wife, and she wants to lie under blankets with a book). I shall have to start again from scratch on my social life.

The new era is approaching rapidly. We close on the house on Thursday, and get the keys for Sunday. I will get to experience the totally surreal moment of having a piece of paper worth tens of thousands of dollars in my hand. The times that these have happened have always felt ludicrous, as though people must realize that all I have is a piece of paper with some words and numbers written on it. exchanging that for a house is extremely silly. As the close approaches the Lethargy intensifies, today's job was to switch over the utilities, a task requiring half-an-hour of phone calls that felt similar to the labours of Hercules.

Ah, but next week my major task will have been completed. I will have bought us a house. All that remains after that will be all the chores from one house, doubled, with the need to transport all the stuff from one house to the other.