Blindspots.

When I tell people that I am depressed (which I am not at the moment) a very large proportion of the time I am given advice to "Look on the bright side", or told given encouragement about my situation. This is because for most people how they feel in terms of happiness or misery is largely based on their circumstances, the external environment. For myself, my emotional state is more largely based on my internal environment, on chemicals within my brain. As a result the advice given is entirely useless, although well meaning. It is a blind spot for many of those whose happiness doesn't change for similar reasons, because they don't have such experiences they don't imagine others to have such experiences.

A blind spot for me is others anxiety. Now, I have experienced anxiety, even phobias. When I was a teenager I was a painfully shy, the sound of the telephone ringing would get my heart racing. I have had similar feelings with dentists, and I get the usual pitter-patter of the heart with tests or interviews, or performances. However, these are all environmentally based. They are all based on experiences that were extremely unpleasant, and I have been able to "Buck up" face these fears, and overcome them. As such, my immediate tendency when faced with the anxiety of others is to think that these other people should directly face their fears and get on with it. My natural reaction is to understand that anxiety is difficult but to also know that overcoming fears is a hugely rewarding experience.

My natural reaction is often unfair to those who suffer from anxiety as a basis of the brain chemistry, or brain structure, anxiety because of who they are. One time in my life, after I had tried an anti-depressant I experienced panic attacks as a result. It was terrifying, and completely unconnected to the rather mundane situation in which I found myself. Bucking up and facing my fears was completely useless, my brain was chemically in a fight or flight state and no thought would move it.

This experience has made me aware of a blind spot with regard to others, and that having a blind spot can cause pain and discomfort to others. I hope I have done a better job with regard to those with anxiety, although I am fairly certain I still have not done a good job. I am a very confident person, and people's first reaction is to assume other people are like themselves.

The really alarming thing about this is that by their very nature we are usually unaware of blind spots in our attitudes towards others. Incompetent people don't know they are incompetent, and those who's empathy is lacking in an area are usually unaware that this is so because people generally wish to be empathic towards their neighbors. Most of us think that some people are weak, or stupid, or cruel, or wicked, or ignorant. How many of these attitudes towards others derive from our own inadequate ability to empathize as much as any characteristic of the other people? How will we ever know hat we have a blind spot unless we take the time and effort to look for them?