Secret #3, Become Love

This is a continuing effort to provide to my readers the secrets to a happy, fulfilled life as outlined in the book Five Secrets You Must Learn Before You Die. This is secret number three, and like the other "Secrets" it's not really a secret. This one is to Become Love. It should be no surprise to anyone that love is connected to fulfillment and happiness, however, I think this secret as put forward in the book is more interesting than I had expected.

The message is that it isn't feeling love that is important, but choosing to be love. The emphasis is on the choice to be a loving person, the day to day voluntary decision to act in a way that is loving. This is put forward in a three stage process, choosing to love yourself, loving those close to yourself, and then loving everyone.
Loving yourself is essentially a self-esteem issue as put forward here, thinking of yourself as worthy of being love, and someone who is capable of giving love to others. The method for getting there is altering your self-talk, consciously being aware of the thoughts and feelings towards yourself that are negative, and then consciously deciding to have more positive thoughts.
Loving those close to you is essentially a suggestion to make the relationships you have a greater priority in your life. Essentially that very, very few people wish they had spent less time with their loved ones or wish they had been less kind and loving to those close to themselves. However, many people wish they had put more into a loving relationship and less into their career or material things. If you consistently make decisions to work rather than spend time with your family, or consistently spend money on nice things rather than on experiences with those you love, you are probably making a mistake.
Loving everyone is as it sounds, being kind, forgiving, loving to all the people you meet. Consciously deciding to think the best of people, to help them out, to forgive their faults as a default position. The reason for this is not just that it is a nice thing to do, but that it results in love returning in your direction. The love you get is equal to the love you give.

So far I have not been surprised in any way by the make up of the secrets. They are commonly known as the way to live your life. What stands out to me is that it is the application of these commonly known principles that is important. The book seems to me to basically state that you know how to live a good life, but so many people simply don't do it. We don't do it because we are distracted, busy, unthinking, or afraid. If you want to be happy you have to pay attention to your own life, what is going on today, and then decide to make any changes that are necessary. Self-knowledge, mindfulness, courage and application are the keys. If you know what you love to do, if you know that those around you feel consistently loved by you, if you spend time doing what you love, this book is useless. If you feel confused about what you want, if you wonder whether you are doing enough for those around you, if you think that there's something that you should do but are not doing it for some reason, then this book can be summed up by the words, "Do something about it."