The title of this post may well seem ironic to those who know how little I work, but that's not what I'm talking about. The Grind I am talking about is that feeling of constantly pushing the rock uphill. The rock consists of the life we wish to lead, the comfort, the companionship, the beauty, the interest. The uphill consists of the constant chores, the unexpected car breakdown, the negativity of people, the ignorance, the hostility, the bad news, the illness.
There are repeated times when I just feel like I want to give up. I don't want to be civil to those who say Barack Obama is trying to destroy America, I didn't even say that about George Bush. I don't want to have to put up with the news that in Afghanistan people still stone to death a young couple for having sex. I don't want to have to see the flat lie that "God is the only way to love" on a billboard when going for groceries. I don't want my neighbors to ignore me forever because they are upset when I point out that they haven't done what they promised. I don't want to have the bill be twice as much as the estimate, or have the rental company try to steal my money, or to feel the chemicals change in my brain and know that through no fault of my own I'm going to be fighting back tears that day. There are repeated times when I just don't want to take care of myself anymore, when I don't want to do it anymore, when I want someone to do it for me.
The Grind is when you get to those times and realize that giving up just makes it worse. Those things don't go away by themselves, they just get worse. Everyone else is fighting their own version of The Grind, often a harder fight than I have. No-one is actually going to take care of you when it comes down to it, it's really you and your place in all of this. The Grind is reduced by facing it, admitting it, thinking about it and doing something.
Hope is vital. Without hope all there is are ashes and misery. Not only does hope help you, it helps everyone around you. If you don't fight against The Grind, if you don't try to be better than the misery, the hatred, the ignorance, the stupidity, who is going to do it? If you aren't going to be optimistic, to look for solutions, to smile and have fun, who is going to do it. The fight is the right, the best choice. It is a responsibility to continue that fight for ourselves and for those around us. The Grind will always be there, but what makes a person good is simply working against it.
Most of the people who read this blog have fought against The Grind with the added weight of mental illness, whether depression, or bipolar disorder, or being part of a family that deals with that (which really does count). Everyone is still fighting it, still trying, still making the world a better place. I applaud you for it.
2 comments:
I think the implication you make: that the opposite of hope is apathy is more accurate than the cliche that the the antonym is despair. You are right on in defining he "grind". Even Sisyphus would agree.
Jim, I think despair and apathy are really, really closely linked. Depression is the reduction of activity in the brain, depressed emotion, depressed activity. When you are in despair you do nothing, apathy. Despair is the emotion, apathy is the description of the action, depression is the biological description. It's all the same stuff.
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