Chapter 1.2

Thick, oily smoke rose into the tainted air lit by the last embers of the dying sun. The village was in flames, the villagers lying in piles of hacked meat. Ugly sounds came from within the huts and the pitiful sobbing of a horse in agony completed the backdrop.

The giant, unwieldy bulk of Ughrit stalked through the mud, slashing absently at nothing with his massive axe. He sat on a pile of corpses, fidgeting and looking around at the scene. His black-bearded face was spattered with dirt and gore. As if at a lack of anything else to do he quickly struck off the head of a corpse, dancing after it in an ungainly manner as it skittered across the ground. Returning to his spot he struck off the top of the skull in the manner of a coconut, laid down his axe, and scooped up some brains for a snack.

With a small dribble of gelatinous goo wandering through his beard Ughrit made little circles in the dust with his monstrous iron clad boot. He sighed, hugely, and slumped back down on the pile of corpses disturbing a collection of evil-looking black birds who squabbled as they flapped into the air. Their squabble was upset by an unholy whine and a lightning flash, resulting in a cloud of feathers and two distinct thumps.

An impossibly tall and thin figure, swathed in an iridescent purple robe, picked his way fastidiously through the mire. Inching his way towards Ughrit he called towards him in a high, sibilant tone, "Greetinggthhhh Ughrit, congwatulathhionthh on your thuccthethful athault!"
"Thanks Akhdar, yeah, I guess it went OK."
"OK? Itth wath marvelouthly done, ath we thpeak the opputinitieth for wapine and piwwaging are evewywhere. I wonder why you are not at it, tho to thpeak?"
"I don't know Akhdar, I just don't really see the point. Just another day, another pile of corpses. It just doesn't really do it for me anymore."
"What? A point? Itth what you are, Ughrit, you were born to thlaughter, wape and thteal. You are the thcourge of continentthth. Nobody doeth it better than you."

Ughrit rose to his feet, strolled in a circle and kicked a corpse in the face.
" I know I'm good at it Akhday, how could I not? Year after year I've led a horde of the nastiest villains you could hope to meet. We've trampled villages, sacked towns, laid waste to entire nations. Somehow that seems to be part of the problem, it's not even a challenge anymore. Sometimes I just feel like packing it all in."
"Whatthththrth!" Spluttered Akhdar, "Packing it all in? And then what would you do? Are you a peathanth to plough the fieldth? "
"I know, I know. I despise those pathetic sheep that wallow in the mud their whole pathetic lives and then beg to keep those pathetic lives at the end. It's just that I'm so bloody bored of this constantly moving from one place to another and smashing it apart."
'But what of the horde Ughrit" " Akhdar's agitation was plainly visible in the miasmic cloud of unnatural poisons that surrounded him, "The ladth need directhion from thomeone or they will jutht go to pietheth. It'th not jutht about you anymore, Ughrit, you have rethponthabilitieth."

Ughrit peered into the deepening gloom as though searching for some inspiration, some hint of meaning. "Just sometimes Akhdar, sometime I think of opening a little pub, nice stone walls and a turf roof. I'd have a few sweet little maidens serving the ale and I'd really be able to talk to people, have a chat about the weather, you know? Just sit in a corner, put my feet up." Ughrit was almost pleading now, an incongruous sight from such a menacing, massive frame.

"A whittle pub?" scoffed Akhdar, "Come now, what would happen the firtht time thomeone iwwitated you?"
"Yeah, I know, I'd kill them and their family and burn the whole village down."
'Thweet maidenth? And them?"
"Yeah, right, raped and murdered."
"Thith ith who you are Ughrit. You lead hordeth of mean bathtardth in a plague upon humanity. Ithth what you do betht. Evewyone thinkth of packing it in onth in a while, but the gwathth is not nethethawily gweener on the other thide of the fenth." Akhdar was gesticulating wildly at this point, occasionally accidentally lobbing fireballs into the night.
"Now Ughrit, come with me. The ladth have found a nithe wittle scwealer that thould cheer you up no end."
"A squealer?" Ughrit's eyes lit up, and he bounced on the balls of his feet, "A squealer, really? Alright then Akhdar, lead on, time for to stop all this moping and get on with the job."

And into the sunset they walked.