A Miasma of Rambulations

I like the title of this one, even though I think it might not actually make any sense. It suits my present position, not making any sense, having a few ideas, but not taking much very seriously.

My state of mind is an interesting place to be at the moment. In one way it is depressed, in that my motivation is low, my energy level is low, my tendency to plan, think, discuss and act are all depressed. On the other hand I am not miserable. Reading my blog posts from a year ago I can feel some of the dreaminess that I feel at the present, but I don't have any of the rage and despair that is in a couple of them. Dreaminess is really the best way to put it, things happen without a sense of reality, an interlude.

I am finding it quite difficult to write even as much as this blog post. This doesn't mean difficult in the sense that it is a chore, or painful, I just find that my brain is not producing thoughts to be written down. I had thought about discussing the plan that Christina and I have been talking about, but it's just the same as last year's plan, but with some concept of timing. I had thought of talking about how important Christina's happiness is to mine, that in my rather isolated existence this is so much more important, but I've done that before as well.

What do I do? Well, the house is maintained at a level far above the mess that was our house in Portland. I don't think that makes any difference at all to how I feel about the place, but Christina prefers it. I am riding the bicycle, an hundred miles last week, and a frantic hour long ride yesterday (16.5 miles an hour average speed, just over twelve miles an hour slower than the winning speed in the UCI World Time Trial Championships this year) but I'm drinking lots of beer too, so I'm still a fatty. I am playing the mandolin more than I have in a while, and starting to sing a bit more with it as well. This is probably in anticipation of our trip back up to Portland for Oktoberfest. I expect that will be our last ever trip to Portland.

People are being interested in politics again in the USA as the mid-term elections are being held. I expect that the Republicans will get enough advances to create gridlock again, but I don't think they will do as well as they expect. Overall I just don't think it matters much as Obama doesn't have the political capital to get anything significant done for two reasons; presidents in a recession are blamed for the recession, and in a democracy the majority view generally holds (and the majority view isn't ready for pragmatically progressive actions). This sums up my view in general, people are short-term emotional decision makers who can't really look out for themselves. Me doing my part for the environment or politics will have an effect of one in a billion or one in hundreds of million, essentially no effect. How things change is through technological breakthrough, education, or reaction to disaster. Right now I just don't care.

It seems that the team I support is going to change ownership, from terrible owners to quite good ones. This lightened my mood to a quite ridiculous level yesterday. On the other hand The Face of Evil had a set-back in recovery from his latest surgery, and I as I took him to the vet he cried in misery, which dampened my mood the day before. However, with his misery at a distinct distance from me I don't really notice it at all.

The weather has changed, cooler and really quite, quite beautiful. I think I will take a walk in the park today.